when you feel like you need to run until you can’t.. just to rid yourself of anxiety. yet your mind is so exhausted you want nothing more than to fall asleep in your bed until everything is a distant memory. and no one gets hurt.
If you haven’t figured out from my posts (which is highly unlikely) I have a serious issue with worry. Primarily, worry about my friendships and relationships. I am always terrified of making someone mad or letting someone down. Everyday I think someone is mad at me.
Not only is this unattractive, it’s not healthy either.
My roommate gets the worst of it. I told her over the summer that I constantly think she’s mad at me when we have conversations via text. Tonight I sent her a text and because she didn’t respond with an LOL, haha, or the proper emoticon, I immediately started thinking she’s mad at me.
This is a serious negative of our technology-driven society (and a major defect in my personality and confidence). How many times have you exchanged an e-mail with someone or texted and taken their tone completely different from how they meant it?
I think that’s why I over-use exclamation points and smiley faces… I feel like I need to validate my enthusiasm more-so when it’s through technology rather than face-to-face.
Do you find yourself doing this too? Or do you just e-mail and text as usual and drive people like me crazy thinking you’re mad at us ; ) ?
A quote filled with good advice from one of my all-time favorite movies, When Harry Met Sally. Sally says to Harry:
“You can’t express every feeling you have every moment you have them.”
I love this quote. As every one of my friends (and my mother) would tell you, I have a hard time suppressing my emotions when I feel them. Sometimes this is good. If I’m excited, looking forward to something, or filled with passion, it’s awesome to feel, see and show exactly how I’m feeling. But when I get impatient, frustrated or just plain pissed off… welll it’s not so pleasant.
I don’t really know how to compartmentalize my feelings and say “Okay Allie, let’s put this aside for now and come back to it later when it’s more appropriate”. Instead my mind is telling me “What are you doing, let’s solve this now!! We need to talk about it and yell about it and figure out what is happening and why, no waiting allowed!”
So lately, I’ve been trying to repeat Sally’s quote to myself. Expressing and acting on every emotion whenever I have them is not going to get me far. Sometimes it’s better to cool off, think, and then act.
Easier said than done..?