Tag Archives: relationships

How will you describe living in NYC?

I spent some time catching up on my Google Reader earlier and came across a GREAT article on Meg’s Mumbo. Even though I’ve only been in New York for about nine months now, this post seems to capture a lot about life, and moments, in the city.

Take a look. – What People Talk about When They Talk about Life in New York

ps: a few of my favorite excerpts…

You’re close with the girl in the Lower East Side until she moves to Queens and falls off your radar. 

They talk about the moments when they felt most connected, when the city was giving them smooth handy J’s on a beautiful day and you were reciprocating by going down on it at The High Line. 

They talk about the reasons why they might leave—there are many and they all are valid—which invariably include the desire to have more space, more bang for your buck, and needing to make healthier lifestyle choices.

 

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Creative Wedding Invite

As you know, I’m a sucker for all things weddings and proposals. And I’m also in a relationship that’s going on its third year of long-distance. So when I found this adorable wedding invite on Pinterest, I fell in love and had to share.

Conflict

I really like this quote from The Daily Love

“Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.”

Girl Put Your Records On

He never really liked being the subject of my blog posts. But he was the subject of my life, so how could I avoid it? And now he’s consuming all of my thoughts when I wish he wouldn’t.

I forgot that even when you’re the one to end things, you still hurt. That you go from knowing exactly what he ate for lunch (chicken burrito with beans and rice) and where (street cart on Spruce St.) to wondering if he even ate lunch or went to work or watched tv.

It sucks when people tell you “time makes everything better” even though you know it’s true, and even though you’ve given that same advice to every broken-hearted friend you’ve ever had. But still. Shut up. I know time makes it better, but right now it effing hurts!

Here’s a round up of my high-level Google search skills of ways to deal with break ups:

  •  Can You Be Friends With Your Ex? Whether or not two people can remain friends after a breakup depends on the two people and their feelings about the end of the relationship. “Do take at least eight weeks with no contact. No phone. No ‘let’s get together for coffee.’ No nothing,” she says. “You need time to detox and get in touch with yourself again.” Talking every day as “friends” is also a no-no. “That just keeps the wounds and hope open and working,” Arnold says. “Don’t keep calling to ‘check in,’ hear how his or her day was, or if the dog ate his dinner. Cut the cord in all ways.”
  •  Devote: Be aware of what you’re watching on TV – no sad melodramas or romance flicks for a little while.  We suggest laugh-til- you-cry comedies!  Also, please do yourself a favor and save your iPod playlist of love songs for another time and place.  Make an empowering playlist of songs that get you up and motivated to face a brand new day (P!nk and Adele do this for us).  Lastly, schedule some pamper time into YOUR schedule.  Book a massage, go get a mani-pedi, get your makeup done, or take a yoga class. 
  • Remember why you’re separating When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, even if it didn’t end well, you’ll probably experience a sense of loss: Loss of companionship, intimacy, routines, rituals, and shared pleasures. Suddenly you have more time than you know what to do with. There’s no one to talk to about the ordinary day-to-day concerns, and you have to start inventing things to do on a Saturday night. The emotional intimacy is something you can’t immediately replace. If you initiated the break up, you may start to have a creeping sense of regret as the benefits of companionship come to light. The time after a break up of a long relationship is the chance to investigate who you are as an individual, what you love, and how you enjoy spending your time. In as many ways as you can, surround yourself with things that give you pleasure and people who share your passions.

so, how’s that for a start to your weekend? Let’s end with the last lines from the movie The Break Up (which I absolutely love, despite what the critics say!)

Gary: I’m just saying we shouldn’t wait so long the next time before we…
Brooke: Yeah.
Gary: Catch up.
Brooke: We have a lot more to talk about.
Gary: Yeah.
Brooke: So.
Gary: Be good.
Brooke: Okay.
Gary: Bye.
Brooke: Bye

Are you strong enough to be my man?

My sister posted a link to this song on my Facebook page this morning:

She also pulled out pieces that alarmingly fit perfectly into my outlook on relationships (and life):

Can you at all times wear socks? Because I’m still scared of feet.
Do you talk in the middle of Seinfeld?
…Do you read more than two books a month?
Is it fine if I make more money than you?

Maybe I should start quizzing on first dates…

Enjoy!

My friends: A Character Overview

I’ve been close to my group of girl friends for about 11 years now.. some even longer. As we’ve grown closer, we’ve also grown into more defined personalities that we can all read and predict. All of us know to give Rachel an extra 10 minutes and that she’ll never be ready and waiting when you pull into her driveway.

While this predictability is common in strong relationships, what’s interesting to me is the way we all fit into a character bucket. If I could write a character overview of my friends, it’d go something like this:

Rachel: Rachel’s the stubborn red head. She’ll fight you to the grave over a one-degree discrepancy in the weather and point out the fact that your outfit doesn’t match.  But when her stubborn nature isn’t working against you, it’s working for you in a way that not many people can. Like the weather, she’ll defend you to the grave and have your back in any situation.

Emma: Emma’s the free spirit with dreams bigger than her. Her closet’s always a mess and she rarely bothers with make up , although her confidence in her rich green eyes does more for her than makeup ever could. She lives in the moment, which is why she usually has an adorable Coach purse  on her arm but a broken-down car in the driveway. She’s the kind of friend that reminds you possibilities are endless.

Katie: Katie’s the girl next door. Soccer player, homecoming queen, Catholic. She looks good in anything and if she laughs too hard she pees her pants. A bit naïve at times, you sometimes wonder if she was too sheltered – but don’t let her pearls and tiny frame fool you,  she can chug a beer like no other.

Amanda: Amanda’s the one with the infectious laugh and off-beat style.  By day she’s a straight edge, by night she’s crowd surfing at Pitbull concerts. While she went through awkward stage s like collecting beanie babies and wearing floppy hats, she now directs her creative energy toward cake decorating. She puts so much attention to detail and life that you know she’ll be successful.

Gretchen: Gretchen is the teacher’s pet gone wild. Okay, a bit extreme. But she is a go-getter with a (at times) frat-boy sense of humor. She’s involved in several clubs, events and associations and works multiple jobs at once. Spend a few minutes with her and she’ll more than likely drop a dirty joke or funny remark. She’s got the drive to make it, and the humor to make it enjoyable.

Margaret: Margaret is the assertive one. The all-American girl in a gray t-shirt and ripped jeans.  She knows what she wants and doesn’t take no for an answer. She’ll try something 15 times before asking anyone for help. While at times she may appear aggressive, she’s got the best intentions and greatest  ambitions.

These are the characters who make up the story of my life. And I love them all for who they are ❤

What’s your character overview?


I wash, you fold. jobs aren’t defined by gender.

I’ve never promoted myself as a feminist. In fact, I  really don’t even consider myself one. I’m more of an advocate for equality. Which is why I get so frustrated when people go around declaring the expectations of a man versus the expectations of a woman.

Over the weekend I had dinner with my boyfriend, his roommate and his roommate’s girlfriend. The conversation somehow ended up on what we would and wouldn’t do when we “grew up and got married”. I, very strongly, voiced that I’d do the laundry but my husband would have to fold. Or, I’d get up one night with a sick kid but my husband would have to contribute his fair share as well. Pretty basic stuff, right? Wrong.

The three of them (not so much my boyfriend… he knows better ; ) ) proceeded to talk about how even though equal distribution of chores is important, it’s still a woman’s “job” to take care of the kids and clean and do those kinds of things, while it’s the man’s “job” to handle the fixing and outdoor stuff.

I must’ve left my apron and obedient housewife attitude at home that night because I responded with a resounding “Hell no!”

Being a woman does not mean I will cook, clean and be the sole care taker of children. In fact, to the man who does one day marry me, I hope you’ve got some kitchen skills because my cooking abilities are pretty weak!

I am not against women doing the cleaning or cooking or anything really – But when the expectation is there that she should do it solely because she is a woman, I get bothered.

When  I mentioned I have a small desire to keep my own last name when I get married, you would’ve thought I told them I planned on having a leg removed to be studied for science!

What are your beliefs? And what are your own expectations within a marriage/relationship or household? Are mine far fetched?